uNfuLfiLLed iLLusioNs beGiNs..

YESTERDAY...

... was my damn birthday. It was rather sad but some parts of yesterday was also happy.

I started my day with an early wake-up call from my alarm clock. I needed to get to school early because my Onii-chan and I had a bet that whoever gets there last will have a punishment. And guess who won? ME! Hehehe... So, when he arrived, I was infront of the lobby waiting for him and when he saw me, I kept jumping up and down as if saying "HAH! I BEAT YOU, YOU LOSER! *iNseRt eviL lauGh*", and he just messed up my hair by ruffling it and left because of his duty as a core commander in our CAT (his punishment is to buy me free lunch twice this week and for him to ask his crush for a dance when our prom/bequethal already here). And then after a few minutes, the flag ceremony started.

After the flag ceremony, we returned to our respective classes, and met our own classmates. It was fun in our class! But there were much more boys than girls. T.T  It was rather annoying since most of them were so noisy, but hell, I was also along with my other classmates who were also my classmates last year. First part of the day ended up so quickly actually. When lunch came, my friends  (Russ, Char, and Zime) and I waited for Onii-chan in the benches infront of our classrooms. During lunch, we ate in the Jurgen's Hall. It was pretty fun! We were talking about random stuff and there was one part in where me and Onii-chan remembered the anime "Sukisyo". He was like "SH**!", because he had watched the half of the first episode and was like, "Is that a guy?!". LoL~

After eating, we went to the second floor of the canteen and stayed there for a while. ^_^

TODAY...

... the only thing that happened that I think was good was when I was able to talk to my friend, Elie, who was my classmate last year (she's Onii-chan's classmate). We talked of anime while reading an issue of Otakuzine Mag (as always) along with Sai and Dolli while I was eating Skyflakes and Iced Tea. After a few minutes, Onii-chan appeared out of nowhere. I thought it was someone else but then when I was about to drink my last bit of Iced Tea, I realized it. And then Elie said, "Hey! Let me borrow the other two that you brought!", so I agreed. Then you'll be laughing at what I did next... Before going back to my classroom to get the 2 other issues, I had Onii-chan hold my empty cup and empty plastic of Skyflakes, and he was surprised. Then I suddenly ordered hime, "You throw it..." and ran back to my classroom... LoL~

*cRieS*

             I can't believe that this day had come! *cRieS* My day going fine until I haved hit my head hard and remembered that it was Mr. Premocoi's last day in our school, in the Philippines and in my life! HE'S GOING BACK TO KOREA!! *cRieS* *cRieS*

             Gosh! I can't believe that I'm reacting like this... Oh well, who wouldn't? I mean, you meet a person who really looks like your dream guy and has the same personality as him. And then your were 'just' close to him in the 1st Quarter of the school year yet, it doesn't stops there since most of the time, you end up being in the same group as him in group activities. Or whenever your class has a free time, you always had even just small talk with him... Those things were little moments "IN" half of the 2nd Quarter. In the rest, I haven't really talk to him since we always end up quarrelling! AND NOW, he's leaving and I haven't said anything! Even just a goodbye! *cRieS eveN moRE*

How stupid could I get?!

             But then, luckily, our handsome adviser gave me a task to make something, which was last week, as a gift to be given to Mr. Premocoi before his last day in school. So, for about 1 week, I made stuff here at home and sold them in school (which was a big help) since my adviser didn't give me any budget so I have to produce my own.

What is it that I made???

             I made a picture frame designed with blue spades like in Shugo Chara (Amulet Spade; Miki). Then, I added a bit of shiny cross (a little different from Shugo Chara's Ikuto's cross) along with a chain which I had glued down around the frame. And them some more attachments to make a frame - VOILA! Finished! And then, along with the frame - I also burned 2 CDs; one containing with pictures of the class with Mr. Premocoi, and the second containing videos of the class with him and some farewell videos of selected students in our class. Of course, I didn't include any of mine's (farewell video, or the one and only picture of me with him).

             So, yeah! An hour before dismissal, we only had our practice for the Songfest on Saturday in which I didn't participate since I knew that it will just be nonsense so I drawed some stuff and gave it as my 'own' farwell gift to Mr. Premocoi...

CURRENT SITUATION:

             Sometimes, I hate myself already...

             You know, ever since I was a kid, I was already used to being left by everyone even by those persons whom I have considered friends.

             Now, in the present time of my life, I have had many friends. From the same school, from a different school, those older than me, those younger than me, and those who cares for me whenever I'm in need yet I'm not there when they're the ones in need...

I'm so selfish, aren't I?

             Yes, I admit... I'm selfish/self-centered especially when my friends are in the topic... Why? Let's just say that when I like my friends very much - I tend to hold them by the neck. How? I always want to be with them whenever we can be, I always want to know what they're doing, I always want to know who they are with, I always want to know where they are, I always want to know everything about them... I get jealous when they're having fun with their other friends and I just seem to be boring, I get angry a lot of I can't contact them thru phone or cellphone for a week or so - sometimes, 2 days is too much.. Lol~

In short....

             I'm a pathetic burden for my friends!

             Well, not really a burden, but I'm the most annoying friend that you can have, actually... I admit those that I have said, okay? 'Cause all of them are true! At first, I did noticed it but never paid attention to it that much. But, when I have talked to a friend's friend, GOSH! That person really knocked some sense in to me on what I'm doing! It was just one single conversation while buying a damn slip then BOOM! That person's words hit me like stone... *siGh*

             That's why I've decided to let go of my friends from outside of my school 'cause they're the once that I could say whom I hold by the neck. I know that that's what they feel but doesn't tell me because they know how I will react...

I know, I know - I sound stupid! But, it's true...

             But you know, meeting those friends of mine is one of the VERY most important thing that happened in my life. They've helped me change myself even just little by little. They've been there for me whenever I need to punch the hell out of someone, if you know what I meant. Not to mention, whenever I need to leave reality for even just a minute or more, they're there ready to listen or talk to me whenever they have free time from the busy life of a human/student.

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SCHOOL SITUATION:

             So, school was a bit lively and boring at the same time... I was still kinda depressed, you know... No PSP, no mp3 player, no watching of anime, no going out of the house - until my grades improves... *siGh*

             Well, no used to knowing what happened in school since what we did was do a kite in Geometry, discuss some stuff in other subjects, have lessons and stupid seatworks, and practice for the upcoming "Songfest".

             Gotta go now, guys! Still have many things to do - Ja Ne!

              MY GOSH! I don't know what to do anymore... Things was already okay during 'Computer' time but then our principal came and called for my lockermate; G... And guess what, it was because of my PSP!  *sNiff* And now, I think I'm gonna die early especially if my uncle finds out... Not to mention, our card distribution is on Saturday!

What if I got a grade of line of seven?! I'm so dead! Without that PSP, I'll have to give up my mp3, my own DVD and TV, and my Computer! And I won't be able to go to the 2 anime conves on Saturday!  0_0  *cRies* Waaahhhh~ WHAT THE HELL SHOULD I DO?!

              I'm having too many problems with myself as it is... What's happening to me? What's happening to me with my friends? And other more stuff... And now even in school; my PSP, my other friends, and my studies... I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! It's too much pressure already!

Can I just die now?!

              I'm really depress as it is... And all these things are happening to me?! *sNiFF* *sNiFF* Waahhhh~  My heads gonna explode already! *cRies* I just hope and pray that our principal will give us back the PSP even just by Friday... T_T  I'm so gonna die if not! *cRies moRe*

WAAAAHAHAHAAHHHAAA~

           Sorry if I didn't have an entry yesterday.. I was just a bit lonely and had no energy to update and also, I didn't have an internet card to start with... So, now, I'm gonna tell you what happened yesterday but first, I'll give you some info why I'm sad as of yesterday until now.. Mr. Premocoi has gone back to Korea. His flight was 9:00 pm yesterday... His dad wanted him to continue his studies in Korea so I don't know if he's still coming back or not... So sad in the classroom without him... *siGh*

This is what happened yesterday; (July 29, 2008)

           Homeroom time, we sort of change our seat plan but not by exchanging seats but instead we kind of built a shape using our chairs. Unfortunately, what our adviser did sort of reminded me about an anime entitled Shugo Chara!. Why? Because he fixed our seat plan stating; "If we have a "Star section" then we are the "Moon Section.." LoL! So our chairs formed a moon shape in the room... Its kinda fun since beside me, particularly on my left, was ZM but.... O_O on my right was our so-exaggerating, girly, fat chubby, feeling president... How can fate be so cruel??!!!!

           *siGh* Oh well.... Never mind that.... XP... Next, is the two straight subject in where we have groupings and Mr. Premocoi and I is on the same group... First off is, Literature.. We have an upcoming project named "Radioplay" so we had a little meeting but instead of having a meeting, Sher and I kept teasing Mr. Premocoi about his new hairstyle since he just got a new haircut... Some says he looks like a "cat" but for me, he looks like a bear.. LoL! Second is Music and Arts, we had to explain our mural which I did all by myself.. Frankly, we didn't really get to explain since we ran out of time... *wHew*

           Last stop, we have Filipino, in where we practiced for our "Sabayang Bigkas". Therefore, we had gone to the red bricks once again and I have Mr. Premocoi hold my wallet (even just for the last time...). It really was tiring actually... At the end of the practice, Mr. Premocoi came to me and gave me my wallet... Guess how he gave it to me?

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he THREW it at ME! Which I didn't catch since I knew it was aimed at my face... AND he just laughed at me! Arrggghhh~ *siGh* Luckily, no damage on my wallet, whatsoever...

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           For today... well, kinda boring today and I have no exact mood today.... I'm still kinda affected of what happened.... *sNiff* kinDa beinG an emO riGht nOw.... tomorrow, I might type it... Gomen~

JA ne--- Oyasumi... =I