uNfuLfiLLed iLLusioNs beGiNs..

CAT daY - reaLizatioNs aGaiN...

2009-11-15T04:31:05Z

Just finished CAT day and after 1 month, I've already talked to him. But just a normal one... We won't be having a serious talk unless he gives me a retreat letter on Monday... XD

Anyways, CAT today was rather boring since it's just a career talk. Almost all of us were doing our own stuff like sleeping, talking to each other, etc. But before the career talk, everyone was actually laughing since our second-in-command wasn't there who does the shouting and stuff. So, our core commander was the one who did it. LoL~ Honestly, "pumipiyok siya!" XD

So, back to what I was saying. It was soooo boring honestly...

After CAT, me, rob, nii-chan, maxi and fil ate in JAPOK. It was kinda different if you ask me.. but I don't know why...

diSeNchaNtmeNt

2009-11-03T13:48:00Z

                   It's been a long, long time since I have updated... 11 weeks to be precise... For those weeks, I felt like drowning; loosing myself in the depths of unending oblivion of which I am familiar... Of which I always fear to feel...

                   Just right after I have brought back a forgotten friendship, I had lost another and yet, though, I knew I was not the one at fault, I still feel guilty - guilty of not seeing a friend laugh or smile; guilty of not being able to be by a friend's side when in need. I don't know why... But, as days go by, it's consuming my whole mind as if telling me to let everything go and start a new.

                   It's been 2 weeks and a half since the last time I saw that friend of mine smile. And now, I could no longer see it directly done for me. All I could feel through the cemented halls was the wind or the heat. All I could hear was other people's voices and never that person's. Somehow, my days have uttered empty, never to be whole again.

                   Whenever I pass by that person, it's either we treat each other as complete strangers or take a quick glance at the other, only to look at cold, and empty eyes. Pathetic, isn't it? Man... I don't know what to do anymore. Just like today... I unexpectedly took a quick glance at that person's classroom just to see who was their teacher, only to meet brown eyes with my equally dark ones.

I had gain a friend...
I had lost another...
I pretend to hard...
Only to fall so hard...
I treat you coldy...
Only for you to do the same...

And you don't realize that what I'm doing,
is the good for the two of us.
For it may seem
that we enjoy each other's company,
and yet, I take it the other way...

Honestly....

You're still insensitive, so to seem...

FREEDOM foR nOw...

2009-08-17T12:32:18Z

             Wow, I haven't noticed that I haven't updated for the past 3 weeks. School just became sooo hectic especially now, that I became one of the freaking voted-yet-not-followed officers of the class. T___T My classmates are practically all retarded and super CRAAAZZYY!

             Anyways, our first quarter exams just finished 3 days ago. I flunked 2 exams as of now of all subjects - Trigonometry and Physics. I really hate it... I just hope I just hope I get 80 and above in my cards starting from this quarter. I'll do anything, if you want to know... XD

             Well, I'll try to keep updating things that had happened to me so far, but for now, that is all. I need to get some rest. Sleeping for 3-4 and a half hours per day for 2 straight weeks isn't a joke. Actually, I feel like fainting already.. LoL~

swEet nOthiNgS~

2009-07-21T13:57:19Z

Chocolates are the sweetest things in the world.
It always melt our taste buds oh so wonderfully and makes our spine tingle with delight...

But now, chocolates are nothing to me.

Its the most bitter taste thing for me for you have shook away my feelings in a simple flick.
You didn't care about me and hurt me without you noticing.

"Are you mad?", you asked.

What kind of a person are you?!

Chocolates, even though sweet, will taste bitter when they are left for a long time.

You are like that in my life.
You were my friend and now, you're not...

chaNges aRe neCessaRiLy neeDed iN liFe...

2009-07-10T11:32:45Z

Around my 5th year in elementary, I was walked down the hallways of my childhood years.
I saw you passing by a couple of times there in my life.
I didn't really know him...

But judging from your face at that time, you were a rather happy person that contained a pure heart.

I started staying in the hallways during breaktime just to take a glimpse of your face.
You always had this smile around people that makes their problems go away.
From your actions, you were like an angel sent to earth to take care of others...

When I reached high school, I got the chance to meet you in person.
You became my very bestfriend, and my soul protector.

But, I didn't expect it to be this way...
I'm so stupid... I had to fall for you, hard.

At first, I thought it was just a crush;
Yet, as days, months go by..
I started to realize that I was starting to fall for you.

I loved everyminute that we spent together -
the laughters, the frowns, and the guilt that we feel whenever we tease each other of things that the other doesn't want.

But now, you're nothing but just a memory fading away.

We were separated by stupid rumors and lies around us.
We were decieved by people to enter a void unknown to extraordinary men.

I was just a memory in your mind, that you wanted to erase so badly.

Now, I'm trying to reach out to you even though you won't grab my hand.
You have left me here in this endless void and found new peers.

I hope someday you'll notice:
. . . I'm still hear waiting for you to be my light in this unending darkness.

yOu aNd I...

2009-07-03T10:32:43Z

This past few days... I remember being happy and yet now, while typing this entry, I'm completely empty.

Maybe because I haven't been at your side, just like before.
I'm a nobody that everyone needs to use, and ignore whenever they like it.

You knew that...
But now, you're doing it to me like everyone else.

You were my friend, and my knight in school uniform.
You were like a part of me which I have lost that I'm trying to seek...trying to get back...

. . . . . . But what am I to you?

Maybe, you just pitied me; for I was always alone in that dark corner where I really belong.
But I have left that place, and it's already gone.
I can't go back and I'll have to stay in this cruel world, without a light to guide me beyond the roads.

You were my light, my very source of happiness everyday.
But now, you're forever gone.
You even never mind to look back.

Yet, I hope that maybe somewhere in your heart, you'll remember me and you'll find the will to look back to where I am right now.
And maybe, you'll come back to be my friend again...

I'm still hoping and keeping that thought even though I know you'll never be here anymore.

You were my friend, my knight in school uniform.
You were my light, my very source of happiness everyday.

Not only that...
You were the notebook of freedom that contains all my meories....
You were the pen that wrote down all of it...
You were the checklist of hardwork that aligned all my thoughts...
You were the clothing of security that kept me warm...
You were the endless ground in where my tears fell on....
. . . . . . You were and still my first love and probably, my last.

And your ignorance will be the death of me...

woRds aNd aCtioNs tO pOndeR oN...

2009-06-23T13:13:07Z

... HAPPENINGS ...

               It was already 2 days since I have made up with Onii-chan. And I have to admit, it felt much more lighter from the inside since I don't have any enemies (for now?). But skip that for later....

               As of now, school life really is hectic even if its just the first month of school. Too many assigments and too many lessons to cover up... Not to mention, I still have review classes which leaves me restless everyweek. @___@ *siGh* Sooo tiring~

               At school, it's mostly ME and my seatmate, Alvin, who are always reciting and stuff; along with Carl M., Carl V., and Davies, too... But it's kinda fun since everyone's trying their best to get as many points as they can... ^___^ They kept on reciting and everyone does their assignments and other more requirements. Yet, today was no different since we just kept on copying each others assigments, and during dismissal, I'm always the one to be the last person to leave, just to clean our classroom (which I never do at home).

               So, dismissal time, today, I was about to take my leave after cleaning our classroom when some stupid guy (who is Onii-chan, actually) came up. Unfortunately, I wasn't really leaving since I really need to wait for someone. And then I decided to tease him and stuff, along with a girl named Carina. XD But after a few minutes, she left and Onii-chan & I went to the canteen for me to buy food.

* Actually, he was told by our principal to tell the students to go home already. It's his job as a CAT Commander. >___<

When we were at the canteen, we had a little argument on the drinks and food.

- 1st part -
ME: Oi, anu gusto mo?
Onii-chan: Wala, kaw na lang. Pili ka na. *getS moNey fRoM tHe poCket*
ME: Anu yan? Ako na bibili.
Onii-chan: Ako na gagastos, okay? *witH saRcaSm*
ME: Ako na... Nu gusto mo?
Onii-chan: Wag na..
ME: Isa...
Onii-chan: Fine, blue lemonade na...
ME: Blue Lemonade rin?
Onii-chan: Bakit? May anggal?
ME: Wala... *buYs dRinkS* Manong, dalawang medium blue lemonade.
Onii-chan: medium lang? *witH saRcaSm*
ME: Fine, manong, yung isa po large na lang.
Onii-chan: HOY! Wag na...
ME: Hindi na. *beLat*

- 2nd part -
ME: anu kaya bibilhin ko? *tHiNks*
Onii-chan: Bilisan mo, nagaantay si Kuya oh.
ME: Eh, di ko alam bibilhin ko eh. *gLaRe*
Onii-chan: Edi bumili ka ng tinapay.
ME: *staRes at the tiNapay iteMs* Popsy na nga lang...
Onii-chan: Sabi ko, ti-na-pay...
ME: FINE! Edi tinapay. *buYs* Kuya, pabili ng nitong cookie oatmeal nyo.

               Edi yun... After that, we went back to the front gate but as I looked at the time, I realized that it was a bit late already and so, I drank my blue lemonade and then finished half of my cookie. But after I left, I had Onii-chan hold my cookie and left waving at him while he was surprised and kept calling me because of it. LoL~

... WORDS ....

               While I was walking down the streets to get a publick vehicle, I bumped into two batchmates named Radam and Father. @___@ But it was rather a different story since what they told me made me depressed.. T____T It's because of people like them that I lost my friends in the past...

aNotheR fiGht

2009-06-18T12:24:22Z

                 This past few days, I have been down and guilty because I got into a fight with Onii-chan. Simply because he hid from me one time and didn't kept our dare which ended up, ME, being down in class (one day, after lunch) and being scolded by one of our teachers for lazing around while in her subject. And so, I got mad at Onii-chan and decided to never talk to him... But now, My conscience is irritating me to say sorry already, since I hated being away from even one of my friends.

                 Onii-chan was the only friend I had that I could open up to freely at anytime. Not to mention, he knows almost all my secrets just like my friend, (a girl) Iruki does. But now, I can't talk to him and if ever we're close to passing each other, we go the separate way to ignore each other 'completely'. T___T And being alone all the time, and without having much friends in my class, is really making me insane...

                 *siGh* I don't know what to do anymore...

yeSteRdaY, toDay, bUt wHat aBout toMoRRow?

2009-06-09T13:11:47Z

YESTERDAY...

... was my damn birthday. It was rather sad but some parts of yesterday was also happy.

I started my day with an early wake-up call from my alarm clock. I needed to get to school early because my Onii-chan and I had a bet that whoever gets there last will have a punishment. And guess who won? ME! Hehehe... So, when he arrived, I was infront of the lobby waiting for him and when he saw me, I kept jumping up and down as if saying "HAH! I BEAT YOU, YOU LOSER! *iNseRt eviL lauGh*", and he just messed up my hair by ruffling it and left because of his duty as a core commander in our CAT (his punishment is to buy me free lunch twice this week and for him to ask his crush for a dance when our prom/bequethal already here). And then after a few minutes, the flag ceremony started.

After the flag ceremony, we returned to our respective classes, and met our own classmates. It was fun in our class! But there were much more boys than girls. T.T It was rather annoying since most of them were so noisy, but hell, I was also along with my other classmates who were also my classmates last year. First part of the day ended up so quickly actually. When lunch came, my friends (Russ, Char, and Zime) and I waited for Onii-chan in the benches infront of our classrooms. During lunch, we ate in the Jurgen's Hall. It was pretty fun! We were talking about random stuff and there was one part in where me and Onii-chan remembered the anime "Sukisyo". He was like "SH**!", because he had watched the half of the first episode and was like, "Is that a guy?!". LoL~

After eating, we went to the second floor of the canteen and stayed there for a while. ^_^

TODAY...

... the only thing that happened that I think was good was when I was able to talk to my friend, Elie, who was my classmate last year (she's Onii-chan's classmate). We talked of anime while reading an issue of Otakuzine Mag (as always) along with Sai and Dolli while I was eating Skyflakes and Iced Tea. After a few minutes, Onii-chan appeared out of nowhere. I thought it was someone else but then when I was about to drink my last bit of Iced Tea, I realized it. And then Elie said, "Hey! Let me borrow the other two that you brought!", so I agreed. Then you'll be laughing at what I did next... Before going back to my classroom to get the 2 other issues, I had Onii-chan hold my empty cup and empty plastic of Skyflakes, and he was surprised. Then I suddenly ordered hime, "You throw it..." and ran back to my classroom... LoL~

CHANGES! aGain...

2009-06-05T11:52:45Z

               Today, I went out of house to go to school in-order to know my section. I was so excited and afraid at the same time. But for some reason, I was nervous and feel like fainting. Something felt like a bad omen...

               As soon as I arrived, I rushed off to see the sections only to see my name under the star section - the place in the world that I hated the most. I felt like the whole world came crushing down on me... I felt like it was the end of happiness for me. Yet, thanks to my beloved Principal and our very understanding school staff under the Registrar as well as our principal's lovable assistant, I was able to switch sections. But I was a bit sad since the section that I was transferred to, my loved one was not there and will never be there with me... He was in-another section with many of his closest friends. *sNiff* It looks like, I'll be alone this year like the many times in my life... T.T

               Anyways, just wanted to share you guys what happened to my day as of now... See ya!

baCk aNd aLiVe...

2009-05-01T10:23:49Z

I'm back and freaking tired! I've been to the states for vacation because of my mother. And I haven't got much sleep, too. Because of that, I miss a lot of my own fun doings like my PSP, TV, photo-stuff, collecting otakuzine mags, and listening to my mp3 to no end, as well as watching random movies and ANIME series. ^_^ I also miss talking to my friends (who seems dead already for not replying to my text messages, IMs nor emails), nagging/annoying my maid here at home, and most of all, MY SUPER COMFY BED! For me, it's the best bed in the world since I'm the only person who sleeps there.

Being back here in the Philippines really is a good thing for me, though since I couldn't take the sudden change of weather while I was in Florida. One day, it was all shiny then it was freezingly cold and then sudden rain would come. *siGh* Oh well, after all, Florida was such a big city. I have been to Pensacola which has a tropical weather; being near the blue sea. And then Gainsville; it was okay there but nothing much to do. Lastly, Orlando, where I also went to DisneyWorld - the biggest Disneyland in America.

Anyways, I've got nothing more to say since I'm really TIRED! And I'm still have a bit of hangover... I think... I drank a Coke Zero from N*****, J. It felt like it had alcohol in it. I'm not really sure... XD

Just like Another School Day

2009-04-02T11:46:19Z

For the past non-school days, all I did was text and talk in the phone. Well, let's just say I played 20 Questions with Onii-chan. It was kinda serious, actually... In my point of view, that is. It was already a carefree days when this morning, some person, namely Onii-chan, texted me and told me that our English teacher was asking me to come to school and help in decorating the AVR (Audio Visual Room) for the Recognition Day. And so, I came cramming, preparing to go to school. While going to school, I asked Onii-chan if he can help since he was going to stay in school because of his older brother, which he agreed to since he doesn't have anything to do.

At school, the designing didn't pushed through and was moved tomorrow since we couldn't visualize it that much and we still need some other people's help. So, Onii-chan and Me, along with his other friend, just played PSP and surf the net for some stuff. I also helped Onii-chan in his journalism project because his groupmates are all lazy.

At 4:00, I left school to go home. And here I am, typing this entry while watching TV and playing PSP. And by the way, I won't be updating tomorrow since I know that what had happened today will also happen tomorrow (Yes, I'm going to school tomorrow, too).

A Night Of Confusion

2009-04-02T11:31:57Z

Early this morning, I woke up at exactly 5:26 only to hear that our maid was talking to my mom (overseas) on the phone. After the phone call, I knew that my mom was reminding about me having a picture of tonight's event. Tonight was the "Bequethal Ceremony"; it's just like a JS Prom but it's held in school and just takes 3-4 hours, and will start 5:00pm onwards. But this morning, we needed to go to school for a few reminders.

Before going to school, Robyn and I had breakfast in 7 Eleven while talking about random stuff. And then while talking, I was texting Onii-chan and then I asked him what time the class starts. That's when we knew that the class starts at 8:00 and it was only 6:55. LoL~ So, we stayed for more like an hour in 7 Eleven, talking while eating. Afterwards, we went to school.

Upon arriving, I waited for Onii-chan in the Open Laboratory to seach over some stuff in the Internet. When Onii-chan arrived, we left to go to the classroom but left again after a few minutes to go around. And then back again in the classroom. Since there was nothing much to do, Onii-chan played "Final Fantasy VI" in his gameboy and listened with me in my mp3. Around 10:00am, all the third year students were asked to go to the MPH (Multi-purpose Hall). There, we were asked to line in 20 and were led to the covered court. We were shown our respective seats and I was seated beside Elie, She and CJ. Onii-chan was seated at our back along with our classmate, Dan. Then when we were all seated, our adviser, who is also the batch representative, gave us a few announcements about the bequethal that night and dismissed us. Upon dismissal, CJ, She and I had lunch in Mcdo, Gateway and got home separately.

When I arrived at home, I didn't really got started to fix myself for the event. Instead, I did different sort of stuff and prepared at around 3:30. I refreshed myself up, wore my dress (a brown dress, with a brown-striped bolero) and had my hair and make-up done by our neighbhor who is a graduate in a course of cosmetics. At 4:45, I left the house using a taxi. When I arrived, I was welcomed by She and Onii-chan in the front gate. She was wearing a pink dress partnered with a pink frill cloth and Onii-chan was wearing a red polo and black pants.

While waiting for CJ to arrive, we took a few snapshots together but then decided to head to the covered court where the Bequethal was going to be held. When we saw the tables where the food was, we kept on teasing Onii-chan since his polo was the same color as the table cloth. LoL~ It was really funny. After that, we decided to take a seat in our respective ones and tooked a look around some people. We saw Megumi across the court and told Onii-chan but he kept saying that he was busy with his PSP and fight the urge to look. How rude! Damn him!

A few minutes later, some faculty staff member announced that all third year and fourth year students was to go to the covered court in order to start the bequethal. At 6:00pm, they started it. It was boring! Each person on the stage just kept on talking about stuff I couldn't understand. So, if you were there, you can see that almost all the third years are just texting. Elie and I was listening to anime songs while I was texting. CJ, who was beside Russ and She, were doing the same thing. Onii-chan was listening to his music in his PSP while texting, too. LoL~ It was funny looking at our batch actually. When the ceremony ended to start the eating time and socializing time; Me, Onii-chan, CJ, Russ, Zime, She, Queen, Ronna, and Dan.A., roamed around the campus to have a little pictorial. But, of course, we returned to the covered court.

When we returned, we ate a few snacks. And then something happened (in my point of view, actually) that made me switch to emo mode. So, I left and stayed in the front gate (which was empty and there were no light open except for the cafe beside). I was supposedly to go with Onii-chan since he was told to do some rounds but because of a little incident, I decided to be alone.

"All alone with this withered tree, sharing the feeling of emptiness and lonliness with it..."

A few minutes of being alone, Onii-chan came and sat beside me. I think he stopped himself from asking questions that I didn't want to answer. A little while later, 2 of our batchmates; Kyle and Joseph came and started to head to our school's front lawn. I walked barefooted and Kyle, Joseph and Onii-chan made a little pictorial of their own. When Kyle and Joseph left, I decided to take a seat infront of the school chapel, and Onii-chan followed. That's when he asked what was wrong with me. I lied to him saying that I just couldn't breath with my boleron on since it's a bit tight. He told me take it of for a while but of course I didn't saying that I have big shoulders. So, yeah...

Nearing 8:15pm, Onii-chan decided to go back to the covered to check out the happenings and I was left alone. But no, actually I got back to the court, too, but I just saw something again that made me sad. And so, I left without a word to anyone, not even to my friends nor Onii-chan.

Swimming Time!

2009-03-23T12:32:09Z

Wwooohhhooo! We went to Megumi's House today! And when I mean "we", I meant Me, Czar, Robyn, Ian, and Jomz, and the car was courtesy of Megumi. We met at Mcdo, E. Rodriguez and went.

It was really fun! As soon as we arrived, we went to the rooftop and took a few snapshots and then; Robyn, Megumi, Ian and Jomz went swimming. Czar didn't really have any plans of joining so I told them that I won't go until Czar comes along to swim too. A few minutes later, when Czar and I was sitting in the benches near the pool, Megumi and I pulled and pushed Czar to the pool which had me to change into a shirt and cyclings to join swimming. ^_^ Not more than an hour, we just played around and had a little pictorial by the pool and while the boys are in swimming boxers and the girls (except for me) are in swimming suits.

After that little pictorial, we started to wash up. In Czar, Robyn, Megumi and Mine's place, while we were taking a shower, it was all funny! All of us were still in swimming suits (because of shyness and conservativeness) when we were taking showers. Megumi kept on taking pictures of Czar while washing her hair. LoL~ And then I snatched the camera from Megumi, and kept taking pictures of them, playing while taking a shower. But of course, we were not naked, you know! That would make a scandal! >.<

And so, after that, we went to Megumi's living room and played Xbox. It was fun, actually since when it was my turn to play (I was battling Ian and it was my first time playing Xbox), I kept beating Ian and in the end, he gave up. So, I battled with Robyn and man! I still kept on winning. After playing Xbox, all of us went home and Megumi thanked us through text when we were already on the taxi.

Out-of-School Trip!

2009-03-23T12:25:32Z

Today was a very fun day although we had to go to school for St. Joseph's Feast day.

In school, we first started off in a mass which I say is a bit boring. But, of course, we have to to commemorate the St. Joseph's Feast Day. It was actually a bit sad since I'm just looking at my crush's back from afar. And I couldn't talk to him much since he's very busy. But, I need to understand him. He's a leader, after all...

So, yeah. After the mass, all took a break and went back to the classroom for several announcements. And then free time until 12:00 noon. It was boring since I didn't want to talk anyone. I kept thinking about a friend of mine whom I know, I won't be able to talk to anymore by next year. He's a boy and a CAT Officer. He's actually my closest friend who is a boy, okay? *siGh*

Anyways, stop with the drama! When it was dismissal time, Czar and I had gone to Megumi's house courtesy of Megumi's car. We had fun in their house actually. And it was very comfortable there, especially in the rooftop. ^_^ So windy! Then we went to Megamall only to walk around and buy ice cream. When we returned to Megumi's house; She and Czar decided to play in the playground. I just watched and took a video of them and took some shots while they were at it. Then we had gone home... Along the way home, I have told Czar who is the apple of my eye. She was really shock but then she understand it.

When I arrived at home, I kept sending group messages for Megumi's little get-together tomorrow until this very minute.

Examinations OVER!

2009-03-19T00:10:02Z

Exams are finished and I still can't relax. I'm irritated because I don't know what to do here at home. My DVD Player's remote isn't working, and my gadgets are still with my lovable uncle's house, which I don't know when I will get. *siGh* But, nevertheless, this last examination this year was my most memorable one... ^.^

* * * * *

... 1st day of "examinations" in school ...

I came really early for school, while drinking Coca-cola to keep me going, since my Onii-chan's crush, "Megumi", wanted me to review some several topic, especifically Geometry, and also to get a temporary ID since I lost my ID but I didn't get one in a time of 6:10 since the principal's secretary wasn't there yet. So, I returned to the classroom.

* Our test at that day was Filipino, Geometry and World History.

Upon arriving from the prinicipal's office, Megumi had me teach here some topics in Geometry which she cannot understand along with her bestfriend from the Star Section, Czar. A little while later, Onii-chan came and my, my, my... He looked like he was rape by a million gay guys. I went to him and greeted him. Then, we went both to the principal's office, along with Zime (our classmate) only to see his brother watching over the office since the secretary wasn't there yet.

I was a little surprised when Onii-chan lied down on the couch. His brother was like: "Hah! That's what you get for sleeping 2:00 in the morning just to review!" And I was like: *jAwdRopPeD* "You slept 2:00 in the morning?! Are you trying to kill yourself?!" and so the chaotic conversation started with that. At that time, he told us that he read chapter 51-64 of the Noli Me Tangere and memorized some things for World History which was the reason that he slept at 2:00 in the morning and which was also the reason why he was currently drinking one Gatorade bottle of coffee. Oh well.. I couldn't blame him. The school dismissed as at 3:30 in the afternoon and then the next day was the exams... *siGh* Not to mention, having Geometry for the first day of exams isn't really funny at all.

At exactly 6:42, the principal's secretary, Ms. Liz, came and so, we got our temporary IDs just in time for the flag ceremony. When the flag ceremony started, the students were very funny to look at since they kept on glancing at their feet were their reviewers were placed. Some used the tip of their shoes to move the page to the next. And guess what? I was also one of them... So, after the flag ceremony, all students got back to their classrooms and had a 30minutes review time and started the exams.

First off was World History which wasn't all that bad... for others that is, and not for me. During the examinations, Megumi was right by my left and one of our classmates (who knows how to play drums and is a very funny person), Terrence, was in my right. Both of them was getting answers for the exams from me, and MAN! It was so damn hard! Luckily, our adviser didn't caught us. It was also the same for the other subject examinations. It was hard, VERY HARD! Second came Filipino which was I thought was going to be hard since I didn't review at all and my notes for Noli was stolen. But, stock-memory came in-handy. Last for that day was Geometry and it was still the same situation, except that I didn't got to finish it because of our adviser counting time like: "2 more minutes", "1 minute and 50 seconds" and so on... *siGh*

And so, after the 1st day of exams, I decided to go home early after I have given the Noli Me Tangere notebooks to Ms. V along with Onii-chan (again). When I got home, I didn't start reviewing. I don't know why but usually, I do review as soon as I got home. But it was kinda weird that I was lazying around and just listening to my mp3, making excuses to watch TV. And so, I started reviewing around 5:00 in the afternoon and slept at around 11:30 in the evening.

... 2nd day of "examinations" in school ...

Just like the first day, I came early, now drinking and has one bottle of hot 3 packed-coffee, to teach Megumi again. And this time, it was Chemistry. But I didn't really taught her since she borrowed my notebook to complete her requirements. So, since I didn't have anything to do, I reviewed for a while but then I stopped and remembered that again, I need to go to the principal's office to get a temporary ID.

Later on, after several minutes, many more students came coming and the bell rang, signalling the start of the 2nd day of examinations. First two exams before the break were Journalism and Literature, which I found a bit easy and hard at the same time. Easy because I know some of it. Hard because I didn't really review anything especially on Journalism and not to mention, Megumi and Terrence kept on nagging me to give them answers.

Oh well... Break time was the most joyful time that day especially since I was on hyper-"kilig" mode. Okay, so, I brought one bottle of coffee to school, remember? During the morning breeze, Megumi asked me to let her drink a cup of coffee which I agreed to. Later on, on the morning too, I accompanied Onii-chan to the principal's office and I had him taste my coffee. It's just that, I know everyside of my cup and how it differs on all sides and angles and where my Onii-chan had drink when I had him taste my coffee is the exact part where Megumi had drank too... Take note! I did drink but it's on a different side and I haven't cleaned my cup yet. So, what does that mean? ^_^ IDK! which stands for In.direct.kiss..! LoL~ So, I kept teasing him about it... And he was like going to blow up already! It was so fun that I didn't got a chance to review for Chemistry! And then, while he was reviewing, I kept on pointing my fingers upwards on his head which made him look like a "torro", and my classmate, Apple, was laughing at it. When Onii-chan noticed it, he won't stop pestering me with attempted tickling and strangling! *laUghs haRdeR* And so, I kept on annoying him until our adviser came for the last 2 exams. LoL! He didn't got a chance to review...

So, the last 2 exams were Religion and Chemistry. Religion was pretty easy even though I didn't review or read anything about our lessons at all. As for Chemistry, almost all of us got angry since before the exams, our teacher said there won't be solving problems BUT THERE WAS! T.T My gosh! Luckily, I remembered some, especially the ZAPEN Problem Solving and Balancing. But what I hated was the pH and pOH! Damn it! *caLmS dowN* About 30 minutes before dismissal, our class had a little bonding time. The ones who started it was ME, Terrence, Megumi, Sai (one of my anime fan friends), and Terrence' friend: Joed. We were like cheering some names but it really is an insult. It was fun especially when almost the whole class was joining in already. *lauGhS* There was "Stick-O", "Kulot-Salot" or simply "Kulot", "Gumogda", "isda", "sped", "baboy" and so on... It was really fun! But my hands hurt, you know! With all those clapping beat.... ^.^ And so, dismissal time, everystudent in our school was celebrating and did what they wanted to do...

* * * * *

So, yeah... After the exams, all of us had a 2 rest days, specifically Sunday and Monday. It was a bit boring, actually. I got nothing to do here at home. But it was kinda fun since I got to text some stupid classmate (my Onii-chan to be exact) and play 20 questions, tease him about his crush and so on...

Hate, Love, Friendship; Total Confusion!

2009-03-10T14:52:26Z

This past few days, I still haven't talk to that new person I liked... I kept ignoring him 'cause I'm still confuse about my feelings towards him. *siGh* Not to mention, I'm babysitting a very special person (of his) for him. And that hurts in the heart, you know? *fRowNs* I mean, I like him and I made the biggest mistake that is falling for him, while I'm doing a very big favor for him which is taking very good care of his love.... T_T I'm stupid, aren't I?

So, yeah... And the most stupidiest thing I've done in the times that I ignored him is talking to him in an angry manner/way.... Now, he won't reply to my messages of sorry. *siGh*

Anyways, I've got news... The guy whom I was talking about in this entry is our commander next year for training. And our classmates keeps calling him "Bok" or "Yes, Sir!" because most of them watches "Tayong Dalawa" in ABS starring Kim Chu and Gerald Anderson along with Jake Cuenca... LoL~ It was actually funny...

Now, before I end this entry, I want you to read my latest poem which I have done for my classmate's journalism newspaper (final layout)...

THE END OF A DREAM

Blank as always, I thought...

Oh! But how wrong I was...

I started to float but soon found myself in a wide field of greens,

Full of different kinds of plants with flowers,

Surrounded above by the vast and ever beautiful sky.

Without noticing, I found myself lying on the grass.

The feeling of serenity engulfing my whole self...

It was so peaceful, and quiet that I almost didn't notice his presence.

We were just there... right beside each other.

No voice were heard, no words were spoken...

Not any trace of movement was to be felt...

But then, he reached out to me, only to move my head on his shoulder.

The way he caresses my forehead, lulled me to sleep...

I told myself not to close my eyes, but slowly - my eyes betrayed me.

As I fell to eternal slumber;

I heard him said, "You know-

"WAKE UP ALREADY!"

My sister had poured cold water on me,

And I woke up only to see reality infront of me...

"You're gonna be late for school, so get ready! AND FAST!", she said while closing the door.

Darn it! It was SO close!

What a bad timing - I was already dreaming of him, and my sister woke me up.

"It was already a good dream...”, I started.

"But then, it won't come true right? I'm just a geek, after all", I finished as I wore my glasses...

Sigh... I hope this won't be the end of my dream.

Another day, Another story...

2009-03-06T14:22:42Z

This day can be considered as one of the sadess and weirdest yet happy day of my life...

SADESS. Remember when I told you yesterday about what I did to my Oniichan? I didn't talk to him all day and everyone else were like ignoring me, too, so I was a loner for the rest of the day. I was all alone; doing my homework, seatwork, quizzes, going to different places in school alone and other more stuff. And I was like angry or "mataray" in tagalog, wherein my classmates were affected by it since I talked to them with an angry tone either when they ask something or when they did something wrong which is none of my business. *siGh* One time, Oniichan tried to talk to me since Elie told him something (which I never got to figure out). But guess what? I ignored him... Why? I was still guilty for what I did to him... the wound... and I'm get teary-eyed whenever I see the wound on his face. *sNiff* But you know what, I really wanted to talk to him at that time but half of me said otherwise.

WEIRDEST. HAPPY. This dismissal, I got so angry at my classmates for a reason and because of it, I cleaned the whole classroom which was very, very dirty, courtesy of my classmates. After that, I looked for my Filipino teacher, Ms. V to ask her something but it everything ended into a long conversation/"kwentuhan" with matching eating of fishballs, french fries, and red tea. There was time which was really weird...

(Tagalog Conversation)
Ms. V: Bakit nga pala di mo kasama si Kuya mo kanina?
ME: Eh, kasi may nangyari po eh.
Ms. V: Alam mo, ang bait niya. Buti naging kaibigan mo siya...
ME: Oo, nga po eh..
Ms. V: Bat di ka nga pala nag-CAT?
ME: Wala po akong time eh.
Ms. V: Sayang! Mas okay sana kung kasama mo si Kuya mo. Tsaka okay ka sana maging officer. Si Kuya mo ang commandante tapos ikaw ang second-in-command.
ME: Eh, walang time po kasi eh. Gusto ko rin po sanang maging CAT officer.
* A few minutes later...
Ms. V: Pero alam mo, di ako magtataka kung maging kayo sa huli. Gawin mo kong ninang ah..
ME: Hala! Wala namang ganyanan, miss...
Ms. V: Ah basta.. Gawin mo kong ninang...

0_0 My Gosh! I was really shock! And even until I got home, I still couldn't absorb what Ms. V told me... Until now, I still couldn't believe that of all teachers, it was Ms. V who said it... OF ALL TEACHERS who are close to me... *siGh* Has the world really gone mad?!

Hurting a brother

2009-03-05T10:08:39Z

WAAAAHHHH!

I want to cry...

*sNiff* I hurted my Onii-chan! *cRieS*

The day was already okay until the last subject, but what I did in dismissal time to Onii-chan really made me guilty and sad...

We were just joking around and then I smacked him with my envelope. I didn't notice that my teddy bear keychain hit him, leaving a wound on his face, almost near the eyes.... T_T waAaaAhhHhh~ I'm so sad... *sNiff* *sNiff* Gosh, I don't know what to do. I already told him I was sorry, which he accepted, but I still can't get over the fact that I wounded him... *sNiff* *sNiff* What the hell should I do...???

Practice gone wrong...

2009-03-05T10:00:27Z

I don't know if this should be a bad day or good day!

First off, I went to practice with my groupmates; which includes G (my lockermate), She, CJ, Zime, Elie (3713), Russ, Sai, and Jomz. We met at Jollibee near Trinity at 11:00. But almost all of them arrived at 11:30-12:15. Late, right?

We practiced in Russ' House. What did we practice? Well, a bit of Tango and singing Spanish. It's for our Latin American performance for Music&Arts subject. When we arrived, it was so funny! One of Russ' dogs, Kimmy, had gone out of cage courtesy of Me and Russ. Then, Elie started running, because Kimmy went to her (and we think Kimmy like her, too), and hid behind Jomz. LoL~

* Jomz and Elie are longtime classmates and friends. But Jomz always tease Elie "balbon" or "pro-moves" and stuff which makes Elie annoyed. Yet, most of the people in our class thinks that they look good together. And if you're with those two, there's always laughter around, I tell you that. ^_^

But, you know what, it didn't go well as I had expected. Sai and Jomz left after 30minutes to watch "The Confessions of a Shopaholic". When they left, Gio kept doing something in Russ' computer like playing, watching, surfing for cheats. Elie and CJ didn't take their practice seriously and She kept on working on her Noli Me Tangere notes instead of making an introduction. *siGh* I was so frustrated that I told them we can all go home already. Elie, of course, jumped for joy since she really wanted to go home already to watch Nabari no Ou.

Aaaarrrggghhhh! I really hate G! He is so stupid! He's the biggest pest that arrived in my life!! First off, he joined my locket and he was the one keeps getting it messy! Second, he lost all my mechanical pencil which he borrows everytime I have one. Third, he had my PSP confiscated by my teacher/principal which had me grounded for like months. Fourth, he's the reason why our little group is always called, he's too noisy! *fRustRateD* Damn him!

*caLms dowN*

How I hate him really... So we all went home and I went to some other place. I was supposedly to stay at National Library but I don't know what changed my mind but I suddenly took a taxi and went to my old dentist's house who is my Ninang/Godmother.

So, I won't be saying much about what happened... It's a bit private...

Back to my own routine; fun, fun, and MORE FUN! ... with sadness...

2009-02-20T14:17:42Z

Hey! I'm back... I just wanted to post out my problem. But before that, I'll tell you guys what happened in my school's events:

- - - - -

"STUDENT'S WEEK AND TEACHER'S DAY"

Man! Was it something or what? Having your classmates, batchmates and schoolmates as your subject teacher is really fun. And when I say fun, it definitely means riot. ^_^ All the student teachers were fun to be with except for some. Example; our Chemistry teacher, Mr. Ortiz. He was SOO boring! Almost half of the class were just plain gossiping or sleeping on their desks. LoL~ Even I was not paying attention. Another student teacher was our very own class president. My, my, my... She was so strict and harsh on us that we think that she's taking us personally.

* Remember before when I told you guys that we don't pay much attention to her and how the class keeps going naughty because we won't listen to her? Well, she's angry at us for that.

So, after the first day, everyone was talking about her. How each hated her and the way she dress... Can you believe it?! She wore a very revealing top and very short skirt on her first day of teaching, which is not in their dress code! I tell you, it's dreary~ *sHiveRs* *sHiveRs* Then, you know what; on the second day, gosh! We could totally see her black bra through her white top! *sHiveRs* *sHiveRs* But the next thing is funny! LoL~ She was already in our class and she was teaching us, giving as an assignment, specifically... SHE FELL FROM THE PLATFORM!

* By the way, in our school, each classroom has a small platfrom below the board where teachers step up to teach and indicates that they are superior when in/during class.

Hahahaha... She was walking through and fro while talking and then she fell... LoL~ So, almost half of the class rushed towards her to help but guess what? SHE BLAMED US! She told us and the teachers that it was our fault that's why she fell... The next day, she was limping around with her injured foot.

- - - - -

"AMING TRIBO FAIR"

I thought the Aming Tribo was going to be a fun 30day fair. But I thought otherwise... It was sad since I was all alone and the only persons who were with me doesn't stays long since they got their own schedule. Even my Onii-chan had his own schedule since he is a COLT. *siGh* Hate being alone... So, on the first day, I took a whole day shift in our batch's Horror booth. It was actually enjoyable but somehow, half of me is sad and depressed. On the second day, I was just roaming around. One time, I went to the Open Lan with Onii-chan and my EX-lockermate, G...

* I kicked G out of my locker since I got pissed off at him one time. I don't remember the reason anymore why... ^_^

But the rest of day day, I did nothing but roam around, talk to random people whom I know. And sometimes, I'll take a visit in our Horror booth and help out for a little while. On our last day, which was the field demo day, I think it was just okay. But it's actually boring after the field demo since only a few students was left in the campus. Some stayed just for the Bingo and Battle of the Bands. Me, I actually went to my friend's house, Elie's. But afterwards, I returned to school. When I came back to school, I went to the DDR Station and battled with our Math Wiz classmate; Gabo. And then, I went with She and CJ and roam around the school while eating. We also had our pictures taken Onii-chan and my 7-years longtime rival, Maximilian.

- - - - -

So, I think that's it...

Now, let me tell you what I wanted to tell you; my problem as of now. Actually, I just realized this on the 3rd day of our fair.

...

....

.....

......

.....

....

...

I fell hard... Ver hard... It was actually stupid! For all persons that I can like, it had to be him... I was just his friend and he was my friend, too. I don't know why and how it happened. But I do know, I fell hard this time... *siGh* How stupid of me! I don't know what to do anymore.... T_T It's just to hard...

NOTE: Just got a new haircut today.

cHaNgeS...

2009-01-18T09:48:47Z

Hey, people! Sorry for not updating that much... I was just so busy about our exams 2 weeks ago and so I studied so hard... LoL~

Also, these past few weeks, I've been thinking about my personality.

For almost 7 years, I have been an anime fan. But, things are slowly changing. I don't know why and I don't know how... I don't watch that much anime anymore, I don't draw anime anymore, I don't read anime on fanfiction dot net anymore nor go to anime conventions, and I don't search for new animes. Kinda weird? or is it just natural? I don't know...

As far as my classmates know, I'm really addicted to it but now, they don't know anymore... They kept telling me to draw for them but I never did. Some of them asks me for new kinds of anime, but I can't even give them just one. *siGh*

The source of it is maybe... just maybe... I'm changing for the good... The good that my family knows...

And I wanted to forget something. Something that's very hard to forget knowing that it reached my life and my heart. Something that had influenced my life as greater as it seems. I know its hard but I'm trying my best that I can do... Little by little... It's painful... very painful... But it's for the better...

For me...

And for everyone...

------------------------------------

P.S. I might not be dropping off some journals from now on. I'm still thinking if I should continue seeing my livejournal or not. I'll tell you if ever I get back or if I will be back. Thanks...

On Christmas Eve....

2008-12-24T13:03:10Z

What a day! I didn't realize that it was already the day of Christmas Eve... Honestly! Like this morning, I was just getting comfortable in my living room watching Phineas and Ferb then all of a sudden, someone greeted us "Merry Christmas!" and then left. By that time, I asked my maid what date it was... LoL~

Anyways, nothing really special today since it's just like any other day you know... I got no special day in my life, not even my birth day... Got used to being alone that I don't really take note on any occassion except for my friends' birthdays....

So, yeah.. What did I do today? Well, I fixed my things at house and also my things in school. I checked if I have done all vacation assignments and notes, then watched non-stop disney and cartoon network shows like Totally Spies, Phineas and Ferb, Tom and Jerry, and Ben 10 Alien Force... Really hate cartoon network today; THERE WAS NO MY MELODY SHOW!! So, hate it...

WHat a way to spend Christmas, ne? Oh well, as I told you; I'm. used. to. it. already....

So, MERRY CHRISTMAS, folks, AND ADVANCE HAPPY NEW YEAR!

chRistMaS paRty

2008-12-19T14:51:01Z

Yesterday, we had the most BORING Xmas Party in the history of our High School life!

In the morning, we did nothing but roam around the campus; most of the students that is... While some stayed in the classroom taking the chance of using their cellphones since we were allowed to bring gadjets... Of couse, the classroom were airconditioned, you know...

So, while roaming around the campus with a couple of my friends, namely Elis-chan, DanniCJ, Oniichan, and Che, I had them to pose for me a few shots to put in my DA account...

DA aCcouNt; yasui-akira0723.deviantart.com

aRoUnd 8:30 oR sO, we retuRNed to tHe classRooM anD ouR pReseNtatioN staRted with tHe excHangE gift... tHeRe was oNe of ouR cLassmate, a guY, whO gOt a VERY fuNNy giFt... LoL~ hE gOt a tShiRt anD theRe was soMethiNg eLse... aNyoNe whO kNow "tBak"? *lauGhs haRdeR*

Grabe! It was so funny!

Well, never mind that... I'm kinda lazy to type now...

kaPatiRaN '08

2008-12-12T08:42:49Z

Man... I thought this day would be troublesome but I was very wrong..

             You see, today was our section's "kapatiran" in where we meddle in the lives of a different class of people. And so, we visited Brgy. Obrero, just near our school, which we can call "urban poor"... All of us had respective partners to be with during the day, along with our foster family...

             My partners were Jaja and Nick...

             It was really fun... When we arrived in the house of the foster family we were assigned at, I was really shock to see their house... It was much bigger than mines! 0_0 And you know, their bathroom was tiled, not to mention it was shining white! *jaW dRopPed* My gosh! Really shocking... And my, their floor - it had a carpet... 0_0 VEeeryy surprising...

             Yet, I didn't mind that... Instead, we had a very fun conversation with the Ducot Family and played with one of their daughters who was 4 years old... Actually, it was only me and Jaja who was playing with her while Nick was busy interrogating the mother 'coz one time, when he tried to play with her; the girl cried... LoL~

             There's nothing really much to tell since because of my fun day, I can't remember them all while typing this. And also, I'm just in Netopia, renting a PC, so I can't stay much longer...

             So, I think.. That's all for now.. See you next entry... ja ne! ^_^