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diSeNchaNtmeNt
Nov. 3rd, 2009 | 03:44 am
location: deptHs of juDgeMeNt
mood: 
depressed
It's been a long, long time since I have updated... 11 weeks to be precise... For those weeks, I felt like drowning; loosing myself in the depths of unending oblivion of which I am familiar... Of which I always fear to feel...
Just right after I have brought back a forgotten friendship, I had lost another and yet, though, I knew I was not the one at fault, I still feel guilty - guilty of not seeing a friend laugh or smile; guilty of not being able to be by a friend's side when in need. I don't know why... But, as days go by, it's consuming my whole mind as if telling me to let everything go and start a new.
It's been 2 weeks and a half since the last time I saw that friend of mine smile. And now, I could no longer see it directly done for me. All I could feel through the cemented halls was the wind or the heat. All I could hear was other people's voices and never that person's. Somehow, my days have uttered empty, never to be whole again.
Whenever I pass by that person, it's either we treat each other as complete strangers or take a quick glance at the other, only to look at cold, and empty eyes. Pathetic, isn't it? Man... I don't know what to do anymore. Just like today... I unexpectedly took a quick glance at that person's classroom just to see who was their teacher, only to meet brown eyes with my equally dark ones.
I had gain a friend...
I had lost another...
I pretend to hard...
Only to fall so hard...
I treat you coldy...
Only for you to do the same...
And you don't realize that what I'm doing,
is the good for the two of us.
Just right after I have brought back a forgotten friendship, I had lost another and yet, though, I knew I was not the one at fault, I still feel guilty - guilty of not seeing a friend laugh or smile; guilty of not being able to be by a friend's side when in need. I don't know why... But, as days go by, it's consuming my whole mind as if telling me to let everything go and start a new.
It's been 2 weeks and a half since the last time I saw that friend of mine smile. And now, I could no longer see it directly done for me. All I could feel through the cemented halls was the wind or the heat. All I could hear was other people's voices and never that person's. Somehow, my days have uttered empty, never to be whole again.
Whenever I pass by that person, it's either we treat each other as complete strangers or take a quick glance at the other, only to look at cold, and empty eyes. Pathetic, isn't it? Man... I don't know what to do anymore. Just like today... I unexpectedly took a quick glance at that person's classroom just to see who was their teacher, only to meet brown eyes with my equally dark ones.
I had gain a friend...
I had lost another...
I pretend to hard...
Only to fall so hard...
I treat you coldy...
Only for you to do the same...
And you don't realize that what I'm doing,
is the good for the two of us.
For it may seem
that we enjoy each other's company,
and yet, I take it the other way...
Honestly....
You're still insensitive, so to seem...